This One Goes to Eleven: Spinal Tap Releases New Version of "Stonehenge" With Sir Elton John

By Joanie Cox Henry

The glorious golden gods of fictional metal have returned, and they're bringing friends to the party. After decades of waiting (and probably several exploded drummers), Spinal Tap is back with a new album that promises to rock us like a hurricane—assuming the hurricane is wearing leather pants and has extremely questionable taste in stage props.

Let's address the elephant-sized druid monument in the room: "Stonehenge" is getting the duet treatment with none other than Sir Elton John. Finally! Someone realized that what this epic ode to ancient rocks really needed was more sequins and piano skills. It's like adding rocket fuel to a paper airplane—completely unnecessary but absolutely brilliant.

The collaboration makes perfect sense when you think about it. Both Elton and Spinal Tap know a thing or two about over-the-top stage productions, though presumably Sir Elton's stage props are built to the correct specifications. No 18-inch Stonehenges here, folks—just pure, unadulterated rock grandeur.

But wait, there's more! Paul McCartney himself graces "Cups and Cakes," which is apparently the most British thing to happen since someone decided to put beans on toast and call it breakfast. The thought of a Beatle singing with Spinal Tap is so beautifully absurd it makes my brain happy. It's like watching your sophisticated grandfather suddenly start headbanging—unexpected, but you can't look away.

The fact that "Cups and Cakes" was supposedly a B-side to "Gimme Some Money" is the kind of fictional music history that makes rock nerds weep with joy. Leave it to Spinal Tap to create a backstory so detailed you almost forget they're not real. But Sir Paul isn't the only other mega star who will pop up on this soundtrack.   Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood are also confirmed to be singing “Big Bottom!"

The Reunion That Rocks (Literally)

Speaking of fictional history, the new movie Spinal Tap II: The End Continues promises to fill in all those burning questions we've had since 1984. Like: What happened to Nigel?

The film reunites the holy trinity of Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer, with Rob Reiner back in the director's chair. It's like getting the band back together, except the band was already pretending to be a band, so now they're pretending to pretend to be a band.

The Final Word (Or Is It?)

Spinal Tap II: The End Continues promises to be the kind of sequel that makes you forget why sequels usually disappoint. With an album that features more star power than most legitimate supergroups, this might just be the rock event of the year—fictional or otherwise.

So mark your calendars for September 12th, dust off your leather pants and "exactly medically accurate" skeleton t-shirts, and prepare for a return to the world where the line between brilliance and stupidity is thinner than a guitar pick. After all, there's a fine line between clever and stupid—and Spinal Tap has pleasantly been dancing on that line for forty years.