The Horrorland Miami Brings Top Tier Scares
By Erin Lee
The humid air lay thick on my skin as I stood at the front of Jungle Island, eagerly anticipating the Monster Parade.
The crowd cheered as they began trickling in; slowly and scattered at first. In moments there were dozens of scary characters of all shapes, sizes, and various states of undead. Rollerblades, stilt walking, even one riding an ATV. Getting just close enough to make you uncomfortable as they stare you down.
With that, the evening is officially underway. I wander over to The Frankenstein Bar, staffed by an undead servant. I’m a sucker for a themed cocktail so I order a Witches Spell: one of four specialty drinks.
Sipping my drink and enjoying some Dead Man’s beef tacos I formulated game plan for tackling the evening.
I sat at a picnic table and looked at the map.
First stop would be Circus of Terror.
A ringmaster with a commanding presence took the stage, guiding us through a series of acts: Aerialists, a tight rope walking clown, fire breathers.
The audience was wowed at every turn: gasping and cheering at each feat performed.
I exited the show and made my way to my first house of the night: The Orphanage. The Horrorland does an excellent job at building suspense. As you walk through one scene after another, it isn’t always obvious where the scares are going to come from. Creepy undead children lurked in the shadows, waiting to follow me. Unlike other haunts, I was immediately uneasy and jumpy. It was a welcome change from predictable haunts I’ve attended in the past.
Each house offered something unique:
Nyctophobia was cloaked in total darkness, and often forced you through tight hallways as you navigate the maze.
Honky Tonk immerses you in a spooky bar setting, ascending stairs lined with floor to ceiling guitars and posters of music icons. You walk through the club, including backstage areas where the characters were trapped eternally and attempt to keep you locked inside with them.
Dr. Malice is set in a laboratory filled with failed experiments. Lab assistants usher you through this twisted maze, looking to make you their next project.
Horrorland does not shy away from trying things other haunts do not: the houses are designed with elaborate elements I’ve never experienced elsewhere in decades of attending haunted houses.
Thankfully I left with my body intact, and stepped into The Coven.
Utilizing the natural paths and lush tropical landscaping of the park, the dead witches rose from the earth to claim their next sacrifice. The finale scene features some really cool imagery I won’t spoil for you, but it really elevated the storytelling of the house.
Speaking of storytelling, The House of 7 Deadly Sins was my favorite of the evening because every scene told a story: Lust, Greed, Gluttony, etc. Each room more disturbing than the last. It was so detailed in its portrayal that you couldn’t look away.
The three scare zones tied the mood together. My favorite was the Ice Cream Man: a terrifying clown hovering menacingly over you while offering you treats.
The Horrorland delivers on its reputation as scariest Halloween experience in Miami.
Located at Jungle Island, the event runs now through November 1st.
General admission tickets start at $39.99; with flexible options available.
Images by Erin Lee:
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